You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
