dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize