brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
false alarm. still invincible.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
These tits shall not be calmed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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