This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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