Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
