Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
