in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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