I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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