Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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