If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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