can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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