So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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