I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
