On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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