What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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