My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
