Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!