Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.