i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
