Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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