it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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