coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
