dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.