Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol

(1-813): View more from Florida

well its been awhile since I've surfed

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(813): so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol (1-813): well its been awhile since I've surfed http://tfl.nu/lkwy

Replies (4) Good night (2053) Bad night (532)
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(650): View more from California

hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.

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(650): hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america. http://tfl.nu/xe1m

Replies (7) Good night (2794) Bad night (872)
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(310): View more from California

LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.

(310): View more from California

And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.

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(310): LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers. (310): And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow. http://tfl.nu/mkft

Replies (26) Good night (4233) Bad night (1306)
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(914): View more from New York

every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now

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(914): every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now http://tfl.nu/173b

Replies (25) Good night (9042) Bad night (1503)
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(817): View more from Texas

New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.

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(817): New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft. http://tfl.nu/mqah

Replies (13) Good night (4518) Bad night (1105)
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(813): View more from Florida

His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.

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(813): His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up. http://tfl.nu/dgzw

Replies (35) Good night (1535) Bad night (4386)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

What did you cook with whisky?

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We started a fire.

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(306): We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky. (1-306): What did you cook with whisky? (306): We started a fire. http://tfl.nu/4y3v

Replies (11) Good night (6100) Bad night (1253)
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(812): View more from Indiana

And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.

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(812): And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god. http://tfl.nu/4xu8

Replies (3) Good night (1271) Bad night (988)
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(206): View more from Washington

I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2

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(206): I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2 http://tfl.nu/1blx

Replies (9) Good night (1331) Bad night (587)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop

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(610): you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop http://tfl.nu/ld3s

Replies (7) Good night (667) Bad night (1290)
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(361): View more from Texas

Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."

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(361): Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again." http://tfl.nu/1lne

Replies (9) Good night (1088) Bad night (524)
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(214): View more from Texas

NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.

(469): View more from Texas

BP at your house from now on.

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(214): NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off. (469): BP at your house from now on. http://tfl.nu/i1e8

Replies (0) Good night (696) Bad night (300)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....

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(610): Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something..... http://tfl.nu/e8un

Replies (0) Good night (691) Bad night (342)
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(805): View more from California

I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.

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(805): I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible. http://tfl.nu/k9z2

Replies (2) Good night (499) Bad night (287)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried

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(403): I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried http://tfl.nu/kvp1

Replies (4) Good night (214) Bad night (469)

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