Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.

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  (443): apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar. http://tfl.nu/z209
  Replies (9) Good night (3015) Bad night (1000)
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  (585): View more from New York

  we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.

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  (585): we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things. http://tfl.nu/92xs
  Replies (43) Good night (3377) Bad night (827)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.

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  (973): we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical. http://tfl.nu/h352
  Replies (131) Good night (14661) Bad night (3227)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case

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  (206): I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case http://tfl.nu/pt7p
  Replies (20) Good night (3079) Bad night (1343)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.

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  (608): I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs. http://tfl.nu/xx6g
  Replies (39) Good night (5415) Bad night (1424)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.

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  (518): I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved. http://tfl.nu/p0e0
  Replies (11) Good night (2315) Bad night (1150)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.

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  (864): Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot. http://tfl.nu/kmo6
  Replies (8) Good night (4209) Bad night (868)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this

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  (516): He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this http://tfl.nu/b4ty
  Replies (8) Good night (3167) Bad night (1212)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.

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  (603): I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night. http://tfl.nu/r0y8
  Replies (11) Good night (1256) Bad night (496)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.

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  (515): Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number. http://tfl.nu/1xqc
  Replies (6) Good night (1824) Bad night (904)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.

  (682): View more from Texas

  Oh yum

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  (817): Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck. (682): Oh yum http://tfl.nu/ssz6
  Replies (3) Good night (1035) Bad night (619)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.

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  (208): He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something. http://tfl.nu/lajo
  Replies (6) Good night (904) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.

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  (412): its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game. http://tfl.nu/gy0r
  Replies (8) Good night (740) Bad night (374)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.

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  (586): I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left. http://tfl.nu/3m4x
  Replies (3) Good night (282) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.

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  (267): Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies. http://tfl.nu/tpqu
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (224)

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