my mouth tastes like poor choices
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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