Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.