Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
