so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
