I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
