I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
