So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I need a beard to bite.
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