do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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