Pants 0. Shit 1.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
