so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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