4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You did what with his pubic hair?
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