Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
