If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
