East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
