the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
