Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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