the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket