found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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