There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
