Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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