Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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