when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
