Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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