Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
