Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
They should really pass out barf bags in church
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
