ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
