that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
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Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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