awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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