Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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