it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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