i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
