We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
