I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
