So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
