You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
