If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
