wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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