There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
