I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
