I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
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She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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