I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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