If i come over, it means nothing
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If I had your ass I would rule the world
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
