i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
