It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
