I think i peed on brittanys purse
my vag is so smooth its legendary
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize